There are many things you can do to help yourself, but it is important to know The best way is to
seek out professional help. One of the best ways to do that is to first approach your Doctor as he/she
can then help to refer you to a professional, possibly a counsellor in your own area. This seems to be the most
common practice these days. You can of course get in touch with a professional yourself, although not only could
it work out to be very expensive, it could take longer to arrange. Joining a self help group is also another very
good option.
What are generally known as Flashbacks can in reality be very scarey and frightening things, both for
the person going through it and anyone that may be with them at the time. But ... they can also be considered as
part of the Healing Process
Maybe, one of the first steps to take with flashbacks is to change the way you think about them. Try something
alone the lines of 'Ok, this is very frightening and I don't want it to happen, BUT, I know what is happening and it's just
a part of my healing process, they WILL pass'. In this way you can start to become less afraid of the
flashbacks. It is a proven fact that the more we worry about having them, then the more likely we are to get one ! Hard as
it may seem at first, try and turn them from an enemy into a friend. The more you understand about them, the more control you
will have over them. It should then become possible to take notice of what is 'triggering' them. Could it be a smell, did you
touch something, or was it something you saw ? Once we understand what is triggering the flashbacks we can learn to control
them rather than the other way around.
To try and help the people close to you, you could try and explain what happens to you when you are experiencing a flashback.
This will then enable them to help you through it if and when it occurs. Again this may help to alleviate some of the worry,
because you will no longer have to worry about what others are thinking, instead they will be on your side and more supportive
of you. They can even help to ground you. (Grounding is returning you from the past, back to the present, the here
and now). They can do this by assuring you that you are safe, reminding you where you are right now and by helping you to concentrate
on your breathing.
For yourself, try and stop fighting the flashbacks, go with them, they are not nice and are often very painful but tell yourself they
are part of your healing, you will get through them, try not to panic. Also try and ground yourself. You can do this by staying
focused on your surroundings. A good way is to pick out an object that you can either see, hear or feel and keep repeating the name
of it over and over, you can do this quietly even in a public place.
Try and keep in touch with reality, remember what you are experiencing is a past
event, a very powerful and traumatic memory, BUT,
a memory nonetheless, it isn't happening again. As time goes on the intensity will lessen they will become less frequent and a lot easier
to control.
Another thing that helps, is sticking to some sort of routine. Eat regularly, don't forget to eat, it can be very easy to lose interest in
things like food, but even if it's only a snack, you MUST eat. Set yourself meal times and stick to them. Often you'll have problems with
sleeping, nightmares play havoc with sleep patterns, but if you try and stick to your regular bedtime and waking time patterns your body will
eventually 'fall in' with this.
It is so very easy to slip into bad habits, but, remember your body is struggling hard to overcome a great trauma and it needs to be looked
after to help heal itself. The healthier and stronger you are, the more power you will have to get through this and overcome the flashbacks.
Different people have different ways of coping with trauma. Its best for you to find your own way rather than copying what someone else has done.
the best way to find that is by simply taking notice of the things that are actually helping you. (there is a list of tips further down this page)
If you find something that makes you feel a lot worse, then STOP doing it, concentrate only on the things that help.
One of the most important things is to not get discouraged and give up when you don't get immediate results. You have kept all this a secret for a
long time, it isn't going to heal overnight, but it will heal, in time.
The following is a quote from a rape victim .....
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"Its been a long, slow, painful struggle. The flashbacks don't frighten me as much
as they did at first. I know I can escape from them, I know I won't be stuck there,forever in limbo. Now they are a lot gentler. I have re-lived the whole rape via
flashbacks. The ones I have now are quieter. I can have a flashback and no-one evenrealises it. I am calmer, and, although still dazed and disorientated afterwards, it's not unlike waking up from a deep sleep after having a very lifelike dream. It is hard
at first to tell reality from dream. Often I will cry, sometimes hard, sometimes gently.I have learned not to suppress them any more, but to let them come and go with them
instead of fighting them. They are part of my healing process."
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The unfortunate thing about flashbacks is that it cannot be said how long it will take to overcome them. But, as shown above, even if it seems to be
taking too long, its worth sticking with it. You WILL come through this.
The Music playing is ... Always Something There To Remind Me
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